Codependency--Its Not Just About Alcoholism

From time to time we all wonder, "Hmm, am I in love with this person--in a healthy way--and are the things that I am doing for him/her codependent related--or is this a healthy relationship I am in?"

When we find ourselves relating to a lover, sometimes the feelings we experience take us over.

If you are a doer in a relationship--you're probably also the partner who is more emotionally available and expressive than your mate. More than likely, you anticipate your partners needs and fulfill them before he/she even has a chance to verbalize them. And while you might be hearing yourself thinking, "I am such a good partner because I do x-y-z-"--hold up. Maybe its time to take an inventory of your relationship.

Codependency sucks. In my opinion, its the root of all evil, and I am serious about that. Money is awesome. Money is amazing. Money is freeing. Money makes life easier, and it buys people all the things they might need, like a home to live in, or shoes to put on your child's feet. Money? No money is not the root of all evil. Caring more about what other people think about you, than what you think about you--is.

Wondering if your relationship might be marred with a hint of codependency? Then ask yourself this question; "Do I care more about this relationship--than I do about my own personal happiness within the relationship?"

If you care more about 'being in' the relationship than you do about how you 'feel' in the relationship--for whatever reason--albeit money, the kids, what the neighbors will think, etc...then you may be suffering from codependency.

If you worry more about what your spouse, kids, neighbors, family and or coworkers think about you--than what you think about you--unfortunately--you may be suffering from the ills of codependent thinking.

Let's face it. We have been programmed to believe that our happiness is tied to something outside of us. From our television ads that flash images of unnatural looking, anorexic, winged, way too young underwear and bra models--to the images of high powered and expensive exotic cars we see flashed across our boob tubes as well--we are a society conditioned to believe that what other people think about our bodies--and our financial status--is the conduit to happiness.

All these illusions inundated us rapidly, and yet--most hollywood beauties are unhappily married--if married at all--and many wealthy, exotic car driving ego maniacs--wind up being exposed for being frauds.

The key to happiness--is to love your self--fat, frail, green hair, two heads, eight fingers, red, purple, or blue skin, even if the people you love--don't love you.

Boundaries are key.

If you don't love you--then that poor self image--is the seat of your soul--and you will project that lack of worth out into your environment--beg people to like you--in an unconscious attempt to get others to somehow fix your broken self image--but all that will happen--is others will feel manipulated--and they will reject you--and thus--your negative self image--will be reflected right back at you.

Codependency sucks folks. But loving self--ahh--no matter what other people think--is pure bliss...

Namaste...