When I was in my early thirties my sister in law passed away. She was 28 years old. A few years later, when I was 37, one of my best friends died suddenly, without warning. Each of these women left behind two small children.
The most amazing thing was, life went on. Each time I sat through the moments of processing these deaths, I felt as if the world should stop spinning, but it never did. Their kids woke up the next morning and had breakfast, played video games, and put on their socks. Their husbands eventually returned to work and the kids went back to school.
Narcissists don't always know they are narcissists. We have to keep this in mind. A narcissist is like speaking to a tree. A tree is convinced its a tree. When we speak to a tree--we know that the tree believes it is a tree. But what if the tree wasn't really a tree. What if the tree was really a bush but the bush just thought it was a tree? What if because the bush was planted in a forest full of trees, the bush just assumed it was a tree too?
Codependents are dependent on people. We seek validation, acceptance, and permission to feel what we feel and think what we think. Even when we are 'feeling' and 'believing' we should end a friendship or some other type of a relationship like a marriage or business agreement, we struggle with believing we have a right to do so. Even when we get angry, we look to the one who has pushed our buttons for permission to feel upset.
If you are an adult child of an alcoholic, or the adult child of a dysfunctional home, chances are you have a difficult time NOT taking yourself too seriously.
Why?
Why would an adult child have a...
Its not easy to love someone who is choosing to hurt themselves. When the one we love is using alcohol, heroin or other forms of chemicals to escape the emotional and physical consequences of reality it is not difficult to identify what needs to get addressed. In the case of drug and or alcohol addiction it is obvious that dependency is the issue. In these cases, the family of the addicted...
