Narcissistic Abuse hurts like NO OTHER pain!

Why?

Because narcissists KNOW they have to gain access to your HEART in order to cripple you from the INSIDE OUT!

Why do they do this?

Mom Has Transitioned and Now it is Done

As many of you know, my mom recently passed away on my birthday early in March.  She had been battling dementia since suffering a prefrontal lobe stroke over five years ago.  I am sure many of you can imagine, how difficult it can be to lose a mother, not once, but many times over.
 

Often times we don't realize we need a boundary until it is too late.

When we find ourselves raging, crying, yelling, screaming, whining, feeling sorry for ourselves, complaining about who did what, or who said what, we may not be aware that a boundary may have prevented the messy drama we end up having to navigate.

Anger can be a double-edged sword and it is wise to respect this emotion.

Anger can imply our boundaries have been crossed and signal our bodies to take appropriate action.

1) We may need a boundary
2) We may need to leave a job
3) We may need to end a relationship
4) We may need to become more self-accountable
5) We may need to check our dependencies on others
6) We may need to take better care of ourselves

Please enjoy this video that can help demystify 'what codependency is'.

Narcissists don't always know they are narcissists. We have to keep this in mind. A narcissist is like speaking to a tree. A tree is convinced its a tree. When we speak to a tree--we know that the tree believes it is a tree. But what if the tree wasn't really a tree. What if the tree was really a bush but the bush just thought it was a tree? What if because the bush was planted in a forest full of trees, the bush just assumed it was a tree too?

Codependents are dependent on people. We seek validation, acceptance, and permission to feel what we feel and think what we think. Even when we are 'feeling' and 'believing' we should end a friendship or some other type of a relationship like a marriage or business agreement, we struggle with believing we have a right to do so. Even when we get angry, we look to the one who has pushed our buttons for permission to feel upset.

Narcissistic abuse is insidious. Unlike physical abuse, there is no event per se, or outward sign that abuse has taken place. Narcissists abuse in the dark, behind closed doors and in the emotional realms. Most of the wounds they inflict are untraceable by the human eye.

Codependency symptoms are wide and varied.  It is important to remember to avoid black and white thinking when trying to better understand codependency symptoms.  Keep in mind that codependency is rooted in a poor sense of self and that the way codependency shows up in you or within your relationship can rely heavily on what might be going on in the moment.  

Often times clients ask me, "How can I change the narcissist in my life?" Because I also teach about The Law of Attraction, it seems that clients sometimes get confused when it comes to blending narcissistic abuse recovery with the ideas that imply that if we can change the way we look at things, the things we look at will change.  I totally understand that, which is why I felt the need to shed some light on this particular subject.